today has been dark, and sad and cold. words which normally tumble with ease onto paper have stuck fast in the tips of my fingers - i can't write anymore! essays, poems, prose...i just can't do it. nothing is inspiring and everything has taken on a grey, ashpalt, midnight, black (!) tint! i am stuggling to trust and that little five letter word is the basis for everything. the very fundementals!
it's getting harder leave my raspberry room everyday, to drag myself out into the cold, acrid world (but, it did snow yesterday night :D). my friends aren't my friends anymore - they're strangers to me. i'm a stranger to their private joke to which i am no longer privy to. to their new stranger friends i am a stranger - its so different to how it used to be. everyone is caught up in their new worlds - swirling bright colours, vivid noise, comedowns and highs. i want to do that but not do that, if you understand?
i will be as empty as i feel, that will sort things out! or mayb, i should shop for happiness? im sure that if i found that lace top i wanted all would be okay! and im going to make a navy hi-waisted skirt and i shall buy a petticoat tomorrow and wear them together! i am going to try again!
this was fairly funny.