panick doesn't even begin to describe it!
its like this searing hot liquid begins to bubble in my toes and then crawl its way through my veins, coursing up my body and shrouding my skin in uncomfortable warmness. i can't breathe.
my head begins to spiral and i look for an escape but i cant find direction!

thoughts are powerful things.
they can be destructive - i want to stop it! there must be something wrong. because then there must be a cure for this, affliction. but the desperately sad thing is that i know, i KNOW that i'll never be good enough!

ive never considered myself a julias caesar, or any roman at all, in fact (much prefer the celts). but it would appear that fate has branded me as him anyway;
sum1 has stabbed me in the back.

i am crossing my fingers so hard for baltek, my flesh is turning white around my bones! i hope he gets what he wants!

i, am exhausted. sleep curls its dreamy tendrils round my limbs and claims control. i am too tired to do anything but sleep. And today, i argued with R. that, making me shed salty tears, draining me and leaving an empty vessel. perhaps sleep can cure this?