ahhh. my predictions were scarily correct - i recieved a bountiful amount of makeup which included two of my new, favourite most WONDERFUL items! from R i got a MAC eyeshadow in "Tempting" which is just absolutely beautiful! BEAUTIFUL! its a warm brown with gold glitter and is so perfect! from R's sister, i received a NARS blusher in "Deep Throat", which admittedly, i initally wanted purely for the name (GIGGLE). this gives the perfect flushed cheek! its LOVE for both.
other gifts included a Benefit set from R's parents, some moolah, a floral handbag and the cutest bright red minibag/purse from my cousin! oh, and favourite perfume ("Princess" by Vera Wang").

christmas itself was a heart-warming affair, though sadly, the same could not be applied when referring to the food. Polish Christmases, i feel, compensate for the unappetising meal (consisting of fish - which as a vegetarian, cannot eat, beetroot soup and cabbage salads) by celebrating it a wee bit earlier, on the 24th! consequently, presents are ripped open that smite bit earlier! the atmosphere, however, was golden and brimming with smiles.


the rest of the time was spent laughing, drinking, watching my brother and cousin lose dolla at the casino - at which incidentally, i entered a free blackjack competition not knowing the first thing about blackjack and won my first two rounds and came third in the final! i also encountered the sweetest sixteen year old boi who flushed scarlet everytime i entered the room and told my cousin i was the prettiest girl he had met. aww. youth.

however, im back in london with R and my friends (thankfully) and claire has just come back from Japan after abandoning me for two weeks or something RIDICULOUS as that. ive comforted myself by flashing the cash via the internet as i cannot cope with sale shoppers - thrashing handbags, ankle-chipping buggies and frantic, clawing hands; no thanks. some lovely parcels should arrive from urban outfitters shortly!!!

shoes - topshop
dress - topshop
bra - topshop
bralet - topshop
blusher - NARS (in Deep Throat)
lipstick - MAC (in Russian Red)

this makes me look like some topshop whore - they just have really gorgeous underwear!

these last few days have a merged into one prolonged nightmare - sleep was not welcomed until Friday night, since Tuesday; all that time inbetween was spent furiously hammering away at keyboards and frantically trying to deciepher loops and swoops on paper that had been written in a frenzy a few hours previous! cue collapse!
everythings done and dusted now tho, and im happily at home, REAL home - POLAND.
here, real snow has settled - not the paltry dusting of icing sugar that has occupied london and its people for the last few days (delays, copious congestion, CANCELLATIONS!!!), and its beautiful - tho i admit, im admiring from the warmer side of the window!

i love seeing all my family - despite this only happening once or twice a year, its like we live here three hundred and sixty five days a year! theres no awkwardness or shyness; we just blend seamlessly in. everyones has shot upwards, leaving me very much in their shadow and securing my position as the midget of the family, aside from Maijka but she is a bubba at two years old! there's still time for her to catch me up! my uncle, who is incredibly and slightly derranged has bought an 8metre tall christmas tree, and its branches stroke the ceilling - that man can never do things by halves! consequently, decorating the tree is a mammoth task and requires planning, precision and an entire day! the tree also dwarfs the multitude of presents that are scattered around it, prompting the adults to push more under the tree this year (no complaints from us children!).

(the tree last year...minscule compared to this years offering!)

i managed to complete my Xmas shopping in the nick of time; i know that R will love all his presents (tho one is a risk that i am entirely willing to take) and i cant wait for my mama to open hers - she'll never expect what we've got her!
I'M not quite sure what to expect this year - perhaps lots of makeup and my all time favourite perfume, "Princess" by Vera Wang which is MY scent.
but aside from that, mayb a whole lotta moolah?

04.44 am
red bull and caffine pill shakes!!!

aim high, aim high, aim to tug the stars right out the sky and eat them for breakfast at the breakfast table,
so that i am able to glow and grow (not sideways tho!!) till my skin shimmers and shine and bois in their head sigh "i wish she were mine" and then, then i think i'd turn pretty shades of pink as blushes crept up my face till not a trace of me could be seen cause i was gone, chasing my dreams...

i had the best weekend tho - R was home for the weekend and even tho i was forced against my own will to spend one and a half hours of my little life watching the MJ film instead of New Moon - i had to walk past scores of girls with their lovely, devoted boifriends queing for the screen - it was the most amazing thing having my R with me. he's fading away whilst he's been at uni, due to the fact he can fail to make a piece of toast (he once called me to ask how to boil rice) and i spent the weekend stuffing him with stews, casseroles and plenty of MEAT (says i, the vegetarian).

typical of us, the bed proved too welcoming and we were late yesterday morning in our blusterly, panicky fashion and R managed to miss his train because his tickets didn't print out! oooh my gabba was ANGRY! the only solution was to pacify his palate and once he had consumed a pound or so of MEAT he was soothed and calmly got on the next train to Bournemouth with no more fuss - from him. i cried and kissed him through my tears whilst he scolded me for making a scene - in an affectionate way, of course.
i miss him already - somehow i think the pink, fluffy hotwater bottle teddy i bought doesn't quite compensate for his own special brand of soft, downy chest fur!

disaster has struck! a pesky 9am fire alarm on friday morning meant that i had to wildly throw my things into my whale of a leopard bag and trip down the stairs with flames licking at my feet (not really, of course!) and i failed to secure the top of my NARS sheer matte foundation - cue peachy liquid all over the contents of my makeup bag and more than half a £32 foundation GONE. so, despite having at least three other replacements on hand, i thought that this would be a perfect reason (excuse!!!) to buy Laura Mercier's tintied moisturiser, the oil-free version. i have already have the Laura Mercier silk creme foundation which i absolutely LOVE, but i no longer need the full coverage it gives for during the day thank to a MIRACLE product sitting nochantly next to the TM in the picture above, so i wanted something lighter!



the MUA was absolutely lovely (also a UCL student, but former) and matched me up to the "nude" shade and i really like it! this TM gives gorgeous, light but buildable coverage that leaves my skin all glowy and fresh! i haven't worn it for a full day yet, but set with a light dusting of my MAC blotting powder and it seems to hold quite well.


i had also run out of my moisturiser, which was Simple's light hydryating moisturiser and which did absolutely nothing for my skin, so i decided to SPLASH THE CASH and plump for an horribly expensive Caudalie Pulpe Vitaminee Fluid which is made from grapes - it smells DELICIOUS, mmmm yum!



right. onto the MIRACLE cure! Dr. Hauschka's Rejuvenating Mask is my HG skincare product against everything else i've ever tried, EVER. this was one of the samples i ordered, and the one i was most excited about and as the name implies, its supposed to be a mask. however, i dont use it as a mask as such - instead i slather on a thin layer all over my face before i go to bed, and when i first recieved it, i applied a thin layer in the morning before my make-up aswell for EXTRA effects. this magic little cream/serum/mask thing has shrunk my pores, improved my skin tone and most importantly, dramatically faded my acne scars to the extent that i want to just wear a TM! also, since ive started using this, ive had no major breakouts - infact almost none at all, bar the odd blemish appearing where i'd normally get three or four simaltaneously! the sample lasted a week, and i immediantly scooted out a bought the full sized version which was £28 for 30ml but worth every motherfucking penny!

that perfect red lipstick has been a constant thought in the realms of my head for the past few YEARS but its always been so elusive! however, i think i may have captured it! after leaving MAC with lips resembling smeared smarties, i instead found solace in L'oreal! on my lips i have L'oreal Studio Secrets lipliner in 053 and lipstick in 650 (red, made esp. for brunettes) and i actually love it - R loves red lips too! WIN.
i miss my crinkleface boi man - the second photograph is a weak attempt to recreate his special smile. FAIL.

Love me then leave me,
Don't leave me in love.
And I really need you to stay,
For a while,
Just for a while.

Brown eyed baby,
I'm half crazy, over you.
And I don't know what it that I should do.
Tell you heart then someone else.
And maybe please tell me.
And if you got it let me know.
And then maybe you and I could be.
Oh,

Love me then leave me,
Don't leave me in love.
And I really need you to stay,
I see the future,
It could be you.
And if you love me then,
Please stay true.

We're walking in the sand,
And you are holding my hand.
Your eyes are sparkling like the sea.
And I just see you and me.

Love me then leave me,
Don't leave me in love.
And I really need you to stay,
For a while.

- Laura Marling

absence is inexcusable, but often unavoidable!
days have been spent, as have people and also the pounds! after a particularly gruesome brush with illness last sunday nite (temperatures reached peaks of 39.8 degrees!!) i was feeling particularly lacklustre and consequently, felt that a purchase of some sort would provide a little comfort. my nose was left especially red and dry and so i thought a new foundation would give that little lift and i chose NARS Sheer Matte Glow foundation. i was matched to the shade Santa Fe and had it applied in Space NK, (i was done up in this gorgeously rosy Laura Mercier blusher, but that another story fo'sure) and its lovely! its far from perfect, but i suspect thats due to the sorry state of my own skin rather than a fault with the foundation - its not too heavy, provides decent coverage and gives the skin a little brightnening glow! hell, i got chatted up by a very cute RSPCA guy straight after even with a sprinting nose and hacking cough so it MUSTVE made my skin look delicious.


ive ordered lotsa trial-sized version of several Dr. Hauschka skincare products aswell, which i cannot wait to arrive! im only worried that i'll fall in love with the products and not be able to afford the full sized bottles :(

i also spent today SHOPPING, and bought lots of lovely things, none of which i can really afford.
style over sustenance, right?

hat - H&M
bag - asos
jumper dress - H&M
playsuit - topshop
skirt - american apparel

I GOT A DIGITAL CAMERA TODAY!!! now, don't tremble too much with excitment kids, its only a teen tiny one that has the same weight as a breath tickling your ear - its so light! it's not the most brilliant, or the fanciest but its mine and i love it all the same! consequently, i thought i share some pictures of my uni room (because claire, i know you're dying to see what it looks like!)

i truly apologise for the lack of posts on my part! i moved to my halls the sunday just gone by and life has been a whirlwind! my flatmates are unexpectedly lovely (tho one just doesnt seem to get the message !!!!) and the past few days have been a haze of alcohol, music, frantic walks to university and exploring and BELIEVING that i live in the centre of one the best cities in the world.
i am going to finally buy myself a digital camera, courtsey of SLC, so i shall be able to take lotsa photos for this blog as i will have copious amounts of time - i have a mere eight hours of lectures a week! plenty of time to think, breathe, talk and see R - he's coming back next Thursday and i think my little heart is going to burst from happiness!

these are from saturday mini-leaving bash at the pub on saturday, and feature me pimpin' it out with my hoes (left to right, Law, Oli, R & Will B), me and R and lastly, my workerbee friend Kazzykins! it was all abit of a farce that night, my smiles. in actuality my insides were churning and whirring like cogs in an overworked machine! im so envious of everyone at university right now, as well as missing them immensely - i don't start till the 28th but i still feel a little bit left behind. im trying to occupy myself and have decided to resurrect my old habit of writing letters!

i cannot stop crying. im huddled up on my bed, swathed in R's teeshirt and his too-big socks, with tears pouring down my cheeks. i can't believe he's going - that tomorrow he'll be gone! my heart has litterally broken into two; claire taking half to Leeds and R taking the other to Bournemouth. the transition from seeing someone every single day to a once every few weeks is unthinkably difficult.

my BFFL/partner in crime/sister (...we both love the black)!

the ££££s have been flying out my purse recently; on clothes, make-up and various others goodies which are being used to soothe my soul and mend my frail nerves - my best friend and boifriend are both leaving me for uni on saturday and sunday respectively. my heart feels like its going to break and i've spent the last week with eyes glassy with tears and red-rimmed raw from rubbing! oh god. im going to miss them so much!

okay. purchases! this first one is a dress that i saw on a girl on a tube in London, and was too frightened to ask where she got it from and thus thought it had slipped from my grasp forever! then, i was walking down my high-street and it WINKED at me from the window! it's gorgeous, and it was gorgeously cheap - £15 from a werid chavvy shop that concealed a few gems! its not exactly my usual tastes but i just think the flowers along the bottom are so pretty - it makes me want to wind flowers in my hair! i wanted a daytime maxi dress all summer so the only shame is that i finally get one when summer has slipped away :(



the second lot of goodies are from our old-time favourite - Lush! i only popped in there to browse while R went to pay a parking fine (what a twit....£60 that should've been spent on meee! haaa) and i ended up coming out with a few things that ive been desperate to try!

Honey Trap Lip Balm - this was an impulse buy; i saw the words "white chocolate" and "honey" and i HAD to have. im not really a lip product person - i don't EVER wear lipstick (tho i wish i did) and can't remember the last time i wore a lipgloss, so i thought id branch out to a lipbalm instead! it smells absolutely gorgeous and so it should, with ingredients like white chocolate, honey and vanilla and is incredibly moisturising and yummy on the lips! i have yet to find out if it is boi-approved tho, as i had to hid my Lush bag from R as he disapproves of my hobby (ie. shopping).

American Cream Conditioner - this is another sweet-smelling, vanillary product that i seemed drawn to! ive heard good things about this and will review properly when i have used it. for now, i shall say that the scent of vanilla, strawberries and oranges is delicious!

Honey Bee Bath Bomb - with all this stress with uni and being abandoned by two people i love most in the world, i thought id treat myself to a bath bomb to pop in the bath to relax. this one passed the sniff test with flying colours - all with almost all Lush's products, this smells DIVINE! its incredibly sweet and smells of a mixture of honey and caramel...a winning combination! i shall review when i have used it.

the lovely people at Lush also gave me samples of the Brazened Honey facemask and Rehab shampoo, the former of which claire (little love) and I shall be sampling tonight on our girls night in!

recently, i've been shrouding myself in darkness - wearing black, midnight blues, asphalt, stormy greys and craving the detailing of some shiny silver in the form of studs. my craving has now been satisfied (for now) with this gorgeous pair of boots from... M&S of all places! they were actually brought to my attention when my best friend, claire (of http://www.claireeloise.blogspot.com/) bought them and i fell in love. my mother actually bought them for me, having accquired some M&S vouchers anyway but they retail at a reasonable £35.
i just love them so much - i feel instantly edgier and walk with a certain swagger when i wear them. ive been teaming them with lots of black but am currently searching for a wonderfully girlie chiffony pale pink dress to pair them with.

enough talk, here are the shoes!



EDIT: oh and this is me and my homegurl (claire) when we went for a girls night out to the Roxy club in London...brilliant night out with cheap drinks (cocktail pitchers for £7...yummy!) and music that makes you want to "body-pop"! i love her so much.

superficiality seems to be my speciality today, so i shall continue the theme and tell you what make-up ive been wearing on a daily basis recently, BECAUSE IM SURE YOU ALL WANT TO KNOW.


in regards to the face we have; Maybelline sun glow drops, Laura Mercier silk creme foundation in rose ivory, MAC select spf15 foundation in NW25 and MAC select moisture cover in NW25. we also have MAC select cover-up in NC30, Body Shop blusher no. 4, a Ruby and Millie foundation brush and an Elite blusher brush.

out of all these products almost all are my HG - blusher and MAC select moisture cover aside. ive been wearing the laura mercier on and off for about a year and i highly recommend it if you have less-than-perfect skin - it gives flawless coverage, blends beautifully and although steep at £32, you only need a teeny amount so a tube lasts for months.
however, it can be slightly too heavy for summer; cue the MAC select foundation. this is the lightest coverage foundation ive had in YEARS and i think is lightish-medium coverage, with buildable coverage - this was my summer foundation and let my skin BREATHE even in the most humid and hottest of weathers.
ive been mixing these two foundations together, altering the proportions slightly depending on the state of my poor skin (tho recently its been more MAC select foundation than the Laura Mercier!)

the sun glow drops are also a godsend - using my foundation brush (Ruby and Millie btw, most excellent) i apply this all over my face after my foundation to give this gorgeous glow.

lastly, the select cover-up is my ultimate HG concealer - it covers a multitude of sins that sometimes the select moisture cover cannot defeat and lasts almost all day without reapplication (in fact, that tube is my second tube and i NEVER repeurchase concealors..!)


as for my eyes, recently ive just been applying mascara - Benefit Badgirl Lash for the first coat and Clinque high impact mascara for the second, which gives lushly full, seperated lashes and makes for a more natural look. when prompted, i might brush on Rimmel's Exaggerate eyeliner in brown (softer than black and this particular one lasts all day without smudging and is a pleasure to apply).

oooh, i also ordered some Missha BB cream today from Ebay and im REALLY excited about it...i shall do a proper post on it once it has arrived and ive have used it for a while.

oh, hai.

this is for R, even tho he doesnt know i have a blog (shhh secret).
its one photo which i made for his epic scrapbook, which i shall be presenting to him later today (seeing as it's currently 1am! on which note, i shall say that more will be written about my baby tomorrow, when its not 1am but i just wanted to share).

there's this girl, designer, MAGICK MAKER who goes by the name of Sarah Seven, and she makes the most beautiful clothing. her predominat fabric of choice, is chiffon and she makes things that look like they have been crafted by fairies - delicates swirls of chiffon encompassing bustiers and draping down in folded waterfalls. if i could clothe myself in something everysingle day, it would be this.

(all images belong to sarahseven.com)

ive spent the last three nights furiously glued to my computer screen, ignoring heavy eyelids and denying yawns the capacity in which to exist. why? because of TRUE BLOOD. having been recommended this MONTHS ago by my best friend, claire, i cannot fathom why i waited so long to watch this. it has been often touted as an older, darker and downright dirtier version of twlight, and i agree, bar the twlight bit. i think i prefer this? its certainly not lacking in bois - i should say men really - who will pierce your dreams with delightfully wicked whispers. a character called Eric is the focus of my attentions, tho admittedly not at first (at the beginning, i loathed him - how wrong could i be!). he plays the part of a vampire, turned when he was a Viking in Sweden i think, resulting in him being fuckably tall, broad shouldered and blond (i usually fall for dark & handsome). he exudes an air of superiority that is surprisingly attractive - one can suppose that the line between confidence and arrogance is too small to be noticed and both are utterly irresitable anyway.

(i just think this is a show that should be watched)
honestly, these photos do him NO justice.